Ich hab mir jüngst ja schonmal den im Januar anlaufenden Disney-Animation-Streifen “Bolt” ansehen dürfen und musste widerwillig zugeben, dass ich mich doch sehr gut unterhalten fühlte. Vielleicht lag es dran, dass der Film nicht von Pixar kommt, nicht ausschließlich auf Permaniedlichkeit setzt und sich an eine etwas ältere Zielgruppe wendet.
Vielleicht lag es aber auch nur an einem fetten Hamster in einer Plastikkugel, bei dem ich jedesmal giggeln musste, wenn er auf der Leinwand erschien. Wer ihn noch nicht gesehen hat: Hier ist ein Clip mit dem knuddeligen Vieh (das im deutschen Dino, im Original Rhino heißt), wie es Werbung für High School Musical 3 macht:
“BOLT” macht wirklich Spaß, selbst wenn er sicher nicht in jedem Kino in 3D zu sehen sein wird. Und ich hoffe, das mit dem Hamster Rhino noch einige Kurzfilme folgen werden. Der stellt als Fanboy-Deluxe nämlich locker die Hauptdarsteller in den Schatten (auch wenn mir die sarkastische Katze Mittens schon sehr sympathisch war).
Achja, okay für alle die nicht wirklich wissen worum es überhaupt geht: Bolt ist ein Hund und Star seiner eigenen TV-Serie. Er ist im Studio aufgewachsen und glaubt fest daran, tatsächlich dieselben Superkräfte wie seine TV-Figur zu haben. Und Rhino/Dino ist ein Hamster, der sein ganzes Leben in einer Plastikkugel verbringt (das machen US-Hamster anscheinend tatsächlich wenn man YouTube glaubt) und TV schaut. Rhino ist Bolts allergrößter, leicht hyperkinetischer Fanboy. Und wenn er über seinen Helden bloggt, dann klingt da so:
R.A.W.R.! the Really Awesome World of Rhino
hey, bolt fans! welcome back to r.a.w.r.—the really awesome world of rhino. a weekly blog, written by yours truly, bolt’s number one fan, about our most favorite superhero canine in the whole wide universe….bolt!!!!!!!!
i have to admit that after last week’s amazing adventure, i thought bolt just couldn’t get any more awesome…but i was wrong. way wrong. this week’s saga is even more spectacular, more wondrous, more mind-blowingly über-awesome! but before i get to that, i’ve been told i have some cage-keeping chores to look after. i guess a journalist’s job is never done.
now, some of my readers and fellow bolt fans have emailed to remind me that there are still—as jaw-dropping and far-fetched as this may seem—there are still a handful of quadrupeds out there who have not had the eye-opening experience of watching bolt in action. i know, i know, i can hear you scoffing out there. but, sadly, there are. so, if you are just now looking out of your habitrail for the first time in years, or you’ve been stuck on a wheel going nowhere, or you haven’t rolled your ball past a television recently on a thursday night at 8pm (7pm central), allow me to briefly fill you in…
in a nutshell…
a regular, everyday, brilliant scientist (a nice one, not one of those evil ones with world domination on their mind) gets a puppy for his spunky daughter, penny. the girl names her dog bolt. penny loves bolt, and he becomes girl’s best friend. the dog grows up to be a loyal canine.
unbeknownst to penny, her father is working on all of this top-secret stuff that, if it should fall into the wrong hands—like the hands of an evil guy with world domination on his mind—could be misused for badness. and since he wants to protect his daughter, should anything happen to him, he genetically enhances her dog bolt, giving him extraordinary speed and strength, laser vision and, perhaps his greatest gift, a super-bark that can level anything in its path.
and it’s a good thing penny’s dad did that. because the evil, dastardly and generally no good guy dr. calico kidnaps penny’s father in hopes of getting his greedy hands on all of the top secret stuff the good scientist has been developing.
to gain leverage with his prisoner, dr. calico is in constant pursuit of penny and bolt. and time and again, the girl and her trusted companion outwit and outmaneuver him, keeping the world safe…for now.
where are bolt and penny this week?
well, bolt fans, could you believe the sheer stupendousness of our hero this week? i mean, the breathless chase with penny on her scooter…the olympian prowess displayed leaping from bridge to bridge and over one of calico’s stealth copters…the selflessness of risking his own life to save not only penny, but a school bus full of children, countless commuters and the greater metropolitan area…so much riding on the shoulders of one superheroic pup. but clearly, he can handle the job!
here’s what went down.
penny discovers that the green-eye man has hatched yet another scheme aimed at global domination, this time, in bolivia (luckily, having nothing to do with the montane oldfield mice or a south american branch of my family tree—but i digress). penny and bolt have only ten minutes to make it to the airport to catch a flight south, and that should prove even trickier, thanks to the mob of malevolent mercenaries dispatched by that doer of dastardly deeds, dr. calico.
now with countless calico henchmen astride in hot pursuit motorcycles, our hero and his scooter-riding owner have their work cut out for them. not only are these dark soldiers armed to the teeth, they are also sporting one of calico’s latest weapons, the gauntlets of submission, complete with electro-shock talons! one zap overpowers even the most stalwart of adversaries. bolt and penny need to get out of there, and fast, but how…?
the zoom, penny’s crafty version of a simple puppy’s game, where bolt seizes a lead launched from the front of the scooter and, thanks to his super speed, pulls penny out of harm’s way…at least, temporarily. calico’s legions are tenacious and quickly catching up to our traffic-dodging pair. almost zapped by one rider’s talons, penny is diverted from her pursuers when bolt veers the scooter off the street and through a warehouse—one full of highly-explosive canisters of pressurized gas! and there’s no visible way out of the warehouse…!
don’t fear, for our fearless hound headbutts the wall into oblivion, fashioning his own egress from this potentially deadly dead-end.
next, out of the warehouse and onto a bridge, where two calico-ian cycle soldiers join in the race…with one of them brandishing an explosive, timed to go off in one minute, which he flings to the side of a volatile tanker truck racing the opposite direction, driving in tandem with a school bus full of innocent children! thinking fast, penny orders bolt to fetch, and he races off to retrieve the bomb, easily sailing through mid-air to the parallel highway.
penny herself cleverly out-moves her two pursuers, while bolt catches up to the bus, removes the explosive and swings onto the top of a commuter train! he realizes he’s now being chased by two copters. bolt halts, turns, and aims his laser vision at the lead copter, which careens out of control—a direct hit! the second copter then unloads another motorcycle and rider onto the top of the train, which quickly launches a missile at bolt…
who leaps off the train and onto a loading platform only to be blocked by yet another black-ops chopper. no problem for our superdog, who simply leaps over the copter—in super slow-motion, thank you very much—perfectly timing his jump to miss the spinning chopper blades! the copter is then destroyed by a missile meant for bolt. tee hee!
meanwhile, penny is nearly in the electrified clutches of one of calico’s thugs, when the guy realizes bolt is on his back…and has attached the saucer bomb to his helmet, which is ticking down to three seconds. the rider removes the flying charge and flings it away—just in time for it to attach to a nearby helicopter and…kablooey! the rider realizes his faux pas, and mistakenly grabs his head in exasperation—and shocks himself right off of his cycle!
in the clear and nearly at the airport, the re-united bolt and penny zoom off the freeway and onto the exit—only to find themselves face-to-face with a gazillion of calico’s troops…on motorcycles, in an array of armored vehicles, airborne. one little girl and her dog squaring off against innumerable forces. there’s only one thing left to do.
and with that, our hero plants his feet and prepares to unleash his ultimate weapon—the super-bark! not just any old ‘woof,’ but one with the power to decimate. which it does. bolt barks, the ground shakes, the road is rippled with waves, and every single one of calico’s soldiers is blown away. once the dust settles, it is just one red-haired girl and her trusty dog on their way to catch a plane…
the rules of review journalism forbid me from telling you how the installment ends, but all i can say is that the word ‘cliffhanger’ is not nearly big enough, deep enough, expansive enough to describe it. bolt fans will not be disappointed, i can assure you of that.
until next week…i remain the number one fan of bolt.
(do you have any idea how hard it is to hold down the shift key while typing inside this ball?)
Ich werde mich nie wieder beschweren, wenn Malcolm über Wolverine oder Transformers bloggt.
Aber ich will das er in Zukunft auch in einem Plastikball wohnt!
Und wenn ihr wollt, dass Rhino auch euer Fan wird: Hier könnt ihr euch selbst in ein Video mit ihm einbauen!